Someday when I grow up…

Think back to when you were young…

One of the biggest questions everyone asked was what do you want to be? Pretty big question. But if you were like me, you had an answer to everything back then, didn’t you?

I remember in first grade I knew that answer. I wanted to be a writer. The first piece I ever wrote was a play on several 3 by 5 index cards. It was littered with spelling, grammatical errors, and incomplete sentences. In my eyes however, it was a masterpiece. It sat in a box, tucked in one of my favorite childhood books until we moved, and my Mom gave them to me.

Reading the note cards provided my Husband and I with much entertainment , and by the third card, we were laughing so hard we were crying. Thankfully, my writing skills have improved since then!

Life happens, people grow up. Instead of getting happy, people’s opinions get in the way, and then we hope to get lucky.

Get lucky, and get that promotion. Hope to get a good paying job with benefits. Work for a company that offers a good retirement plan, and if we are lucky, retire by the time we are sixty. That is, if -and that is a big if- we are lucky.

Then life happens. That promotion we were hoping to get, it doesn’t work out. Our luck has not been too good. Times are tough, and with Obama Care in place,  that benefits package the company you work for is increased by $200 bucks a month. You can barley afford to pay your bills, and you will never be able to retire at this rate. Then all that labor you have done for years finally catches up. You get a chronic condition, and that job that you used to be able to do, you can no longer do. You are forced into an entry level job. With no hope of retirement at all.

You are forced to do something for yourself and you family. You come back to the only thing you know how to do.

Write. So you begin writing. The only thing in life that gives you purpose, besides being a Wife and a Mother.

Then you remember the day you grew up. The day that people told you, being an English and or Creative writing major would never make you any money. The day your dreams were crushed. The day they died.

The day I looked into my Sons eyes, was the day I was born. Then I got happy. Not just lucky. I felt the need to write. It hasn’t stopped since. I write stories and poems, for my Son, and he asks me to read them to him. He reminds me daily to get happy, not just lucky. It all made sense. The reason I was here, what life is all about.

Life isn’t about being lucky. It’s about getting happy.

When I ask my Son what he wants to do when he grows up, I am gonna tell him the same thing my Grandfather did, “Do what makes, you happy. Not what makes you the most money.”

I keep thinking about the conversation my Grandfather had with me before nursing school. I wish he was here to talk to me and support me now. He was good at listening. I think he knew me better than I knew myself.

I can’t help thinking about the advice he gave me, and about how he said I would struggle and have to jump through a lot of hoops in my life to get where I was going. He was so right. Right about everything.

I’ve already jumped about through half of them.

Driving in the same car that he used to drive, on the way to the college campus, I started talking to him, asking for his guidance. I just wish I could take one last drive with him.

If he was to ask me today what I wanted to do when I went to college, my answer would no longer be, ‘Making a decent living,” but “living a life of happiness doing what I love with the people I love.”

 

 

 

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Eight Credits

Eight Credits… that is all it will take for me to get my Associate of Science and Associate of Arts.

This comes as a relief to me, as I realize all those loans I took out when I was young and stupid might not be in vain.

Eight Credits closer to my dream of becoming and English Major. It has always been my dream, since I was in first grade. I dream of not only writing, but teaching others about fiction and literature. I would love to be a professor and help others achieve a dream, that I had all but given up. Until I found out how close I am, to taking another step toward that goal.

On the way to the college campus, I prayed to God, asking for his guidance. Then, the thought of my Grandfather pops into my head, and I clearly hear him say. “Chris, just do what you love.”

That was all the conformation and guidance I needed.

 

Be Like a Child

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Somewhere in our lives we forget to truly live. I think that begins when you start going to school. These politicians and board members who sit behind desks all day, working for corporations dictate to teachers how children should be taught. “Common Core” teaches you that this is the way you have to learn. What those people sitting behind the desk don’t understand is everyone learns differently.

It is in the classroom that creativity is stopped. They kill your dreams. They kill your dreams and creativity because they do not want you to think for yourself. A large group of people thinking for themselves is dangerous. For they have the ability to change the world.

Be like a child who has not had their soul crushed. Be fearless. Have faith, and know that you are worthy. Follow your dreams. Live dangerously. Love like you have never loved before. It is in this way you will be able to change the world. It is never to late to start living the life you always have dreamed of having.

What is dream did you give up? Why?
Please leave your comment below.

Watch “Tinie Tempah – Written In The Stars ft. Eric Turner” on YouTube

Inspirational song. “It’s written in the stars, keep shouting tell they hear you out.”

What is the one thing you are hungry for? Please leave you comments below.

A Wise Man

   A wise man once told me to fight like hell, follow your dreams, and never give up. That wise man was my Grandfather. I miss him very much. He always gave me good advice. Some of that advice I didn’t understand tell I was much older.

Things My Grandfather Told Me

1. Never Go to Bed or Leave Angry-
My Grandfather got into an argument with his only son. That was the last time he saw him. The next time he saw his Son he was in a coffin.
My Mother and I got into a fight before she left for work. She was in a nearly fatal accident. I am glad she was ok so I could tell her how much I loved her, and that I was sorry.

2. Do What Makes You Happy-
I was a teenager that was easily influenced by others around me. My Grandfather told me I needed to do what made me happy. Not what made everyone else happy.
My Grandfather did what everyone else told him. He went to college. He failed miserably. Then he did what he really loved even though his parents told him he would always be a cripple. (He had a bad hand.) He built race cars and built and restored airplanes. He even restored Wacos for the Smithsonian!
Here I am, a few years later. I am reading a great book. I always loved to read and write. I have regrets that I did not pursue a career in writing. I did not pursue my dream because everyone told me it would never make me money. Well you know what? What I am doing right now, is not making me a great deal of money anyways!

3. There is Only One Person for Everyone. Soulmates Do Exist.
  My Grandfather said my Grandmother was his one and only soul mate. After she died, he tried dating many other women. He was even married a second time. (It didn’t last) He truly believed she was the only women ment for him. He said with the other women it was just never the same. My Grandfather told me he knew there was a soulmate waiting out there for me too.
I thought he was crazy. Then I met my Husband. I realized my Grandfather wasn’t so crazy after all. My Husband is my one and only true Soulmate.

4. When you accomplish all you set out to do, you no longer have fear. You make peace. And if you die, you are ok with that.
I’m still working on this one!

What inspiring advice did your Grandparents give you? How has it changed your life?

 

Rebirth

  When I look at my son, I see such promise and hope. I understand why Jesus said we should all be like children.

My son trusts others completely. He has not learned what it’s like for someone to break his trust. He loves others with every fiber of his being. He has not learned what it is like for someone to crush his heart and soul. He lives fearlessly. He is learning to walk. He sometimes falls down. He always gets back up like nothing happened and continues to laugh and smile as he pulls himself up, and he tries again, and again.

In my eyes he is perfect. He is a spitting image of the creator. Uninhibited. Un-fearful. He is love.

He reminds me of what is wrong with the world. We forget to be children. We forget to love with a complete love. To be completely uninhibited. To get back up if we fail. If life knocks us on our ass, not to give up. Try… and then, try again. If more people saw the world through the eyes of a child, there would be no war. Just love and hope. That is the secret of life.

I look at my sweet baby boy, as I stroke his hair and he smiles. He is the reason I will never give up. He is the reason I am reminded to see the world through the eyes of a child. He gives me life. I am made complete and I am reborn through the eyes of a child. He smiles in his sleep. I kiss his forehead and tell him what a miracle he is. That he was the one that gave birth to me.

For all those naysayers out there…

I am currently working on writing a book. I am looking into getting it published in the near future. I have always wanted to write a book…purely because, I get enjoyment out of writing. It is therapeutic to me. I was reminded of today of why I write. For all those naysayers out there that say I can’t. For all the times I have been rejected. For all the people who tell me I will never to be able to make a living with my creativity. For all those people that say I can’t.

My work is worth more than $11.75 an hour. It is worth sharing. It is worth sharing for all those people who care. It is worth sharing so people know they are never alone in their journey. Worth sharing so people have hope. Maybe it will inspire someone else, to share their beauty, knowledge, and creativity.

Then I am reminded why I gave up my dreams at such an early age. Because of the naysayers out there that told me I couldn’t follow them. They told me my dreams wouldn’t make me any money. Well, neither is what im doing now. What have I got to lose? For all those naysayers out there my dreams are worth more than $11.75 an hour. I’m going to follow them, fight like hell. I am not giving up.

Chasing Dreams- Love

    We were chasing our dreams. We met in the most unlikely place. At work. Your eyes met mine more than once that day. It was love at first sight. We sat down. to chart, and we began to talk. You were 15 years my senior, but that didn’t matter. We were two lost souls that found each other. Now our lives were complete.

We made small talk. About the weather, the kind of music we liked, what our interests and hobbies were. Changing diapers all day, and dealing with combative residents all had taken its toll. We were very hungry. It was a hell of a night, so we decided we were going out for dinner and drinks. Some of my friends and family met up with us. You hadn’t had much to drink, but you are were a light weight. After two drinks you became relaxed. You started giggling and talking hell of a lot. We were both tipsy and giggling fools. This lead to posting stupid and inappropriate things on Facebook. Things were getting wild now! Those comments were later removed when we both became sober.

The next weekend we went to a party. We were making music together. You were playing guitar and I was singing. A good time lead to drinking And then we got all lovely dovey.

We had so much fun that night that we went out the next night to see the new Harry Potter movie that came out at midnight. We went out for tacos beforehand. Like kids in again, we were in love. Sitting there, giggling like fools at the Taco Bell Drive through. This must be love. I went home with you that night, as I did the other two nights. This time was different though. Instead of cuddling and playing scrabble into the we hours of the night, we talked about the Dreams we have and have had, and about the future. This was the first moment I knew I loved you.

We were two souls chasing our dreams but somehow we had gotten lost. We had found each other. That was the first time you told me you loved me. The first time you touched my face and looked deeply into my eyes as we sat there on the couch. They say the eyes are the window to our souls, and they really are. That day I saw me in you. The women that used to love without regret, take risked without fear, chased her dreams and never gave up. You reminded me I lost my hope and faith. I gave up on my dreams. You told me not to give up. Just not yet. Not this time.

That night you made love to me. Like a woman should be made love to. You were gentle and kind. You took your time. I knew you were mine. We cuddled afterwards for hours, until I had to get up for work the next morning. I went to get up, you held me close and told me not to go. I didn’t want to leave either. I had just found the other half of my soul. The half of my soul that forgot about my dreams, and I would give up over and over again. Each time you reminded me. Don’t give up yet. Not yet… not yet….

Written by V.C. Christian Continue reading

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can get you out of debt!

I applied for a new job today. I will make less than what I currently do, but I would be much happier than I am at my current job. I am reminded though that money can’t buy you happiness!
The place I work is a LTC facility. All they care about is bringing in top dollar from the people that we take care of. The ancillary staff will never receive any of that money. Only the corporation, the corporate employees and administration will. When the facility looses money it is blamed on the Nurses and Nursing assistaints. We are not valued at all.
So after 9 years of bullcrap I applied at a smaller LTC facility that is not a large cooperation.  They care about people. They value the residents and staff members. So I might make a dollar less, for less stress. Its worth it!
I finally have it all. A job where  I am valued. A beautiful family. A wonderful husband, a happy marriage,  and a beautiful baby boy.
However I am reminded of the mounting pile of debt I have. Student loans I will never be able to pay off. Medical bills from my sons birth. Then at the end of the day, I come home to a cramped one bedroom apartment that all three of us can barely move in, because we can’t afford anything else. Our fridge is almost empty because we only have 150 dollars to spend on groceries a month. Yea money can’t buy happiness, but it can pay off debt and give my family more room grow. Mabie even a decent meal. I am reminded rasing the minimum wage isnt enough.  Our Government and Companies need to be held accontible and responsible from stealing money from the poor middle class, students, and the elderly. But, money can’t buy happiness. Right?