Someday when I grow up…

Think back to when you were young…

One of the biggest questions everyone asked was what do you want to be? Pretty big question. But if you were like me, you had an answer to everything back then, didn’t you?

I remember in first grade I knew that answer. I wanted to be a writer. The first piece I ever wrote was a play on several 3 by 5 index cards. It was littered with spelling, grammatical errors, and incomplete sentences. In my eyes however, it was a masterpiece. It sat in a box, tucked in one of my favorite childhood books until we moved, and my Mom gave them to me.

Reading the note cards provided my Husband and I with much entertainment , and by the third card, we were laughing so hard we were crying. Thankfully, my writing skills have improved since then!

Life happens, people grow up. Instead of getting happy, people’s opinions get in the way, and then we hope to get lucky.

Get lucky, and get that promotion. Hope to get a good paying job with benefits. Work for a company that offers a good retirement plan, and if we are lucky, retire by the time we are sixty. That is, if -and that is a big if- we are lucky.

Then life happens. That promotion we were hoping to get, it doesn’t work out. Our luck has not been too good. Times are tough, and with Obama Care in place,  that benefits package the company you work for is increased by $200 bucks a month. You can barley afford to pay your bills, and you will never be able to retire at this rate. Then all that labor you have done for years finally catches up. You get a chronic condition, and that job that you used to be able to do, you can no longer do. You are forced into an entry level job. With no hope of retirement at all.

You are forced to do something for yourself and you family. You come back to the only thing you know how to do.

Write. So you begin writing. The only thing in life that gives you purpose, besides being a Wife and a Mother.

Then you remember the day you grew up. The day that people told you, being an English and or Creative writing major would never make you any money. The day your dreams were crushed. The day they died.

The day I looked into my Sons eyes, was the day I was born. Then I got happy. Not just lucky. I felt the need to write. It hasn’t stopped since. I write stories and poems, for my Son, and he asks me to read them to him. He reminds me daily to get happy, not just lucky. It all made sense. The reason I was here, what life is all about.

Life isn’t about being lucky. It’s about getting happy.

When I ask my Son what he wants to do when he grows up, I am gonna tell him the same thing my Grandfather did, “Do what makes, you happy. Not what makes you the most money.”

I keep thinking about the conversation my Grandfather had with me before nursing school. I wish he was here to talk to me and support me now. He was good at listening. I think he knew me better than I knew myself.

I can’t help thinking about the advice he gave me, and about how he said I would struggle and have to jump through a lot of hoops in my life to get where I was going. He was so right. Right about everything.

I’ve already jumped about through half of them.

Driving in the same car that he used to drive, on the way to the college campus, I started talking to him, asking for his guidance. I just wish I could take one last drive with him.

If he was to ask me today what I wanted to do when I went to college, my answer would no longer be, ‘Making a decent living,” but “living a life of happiness doing what I love with the people I love.”

 

 

 

Advertisements

Watch “Tinie Tempah – Written In The Stars ft. Eric Turner” on YouTube

Inspirational song. “It’s written in the stars, keep shouting tell they hear you out.”

What is the one thing you are hungry for? Please leave you comments below.

A Little Less Rain

Sorry I have been away for so long. My son had some health problems recently without going into detail,  but he is ok now. I have been working a lot to try to pay off debt. It seems like it is a never ending battle.

Recently my husband’s car took a shit, and when I mean took a shit, the whole engine went bad. Now we are in need of a new used car. With times being tough and our credit score being low, we are praying somewhere will approve us for a loan. My car is twenty years old and on its last leg.  So im praying in the that wont take a shit for at least another year. These things that happened could not have happened at a worst time.

I’m trying to stay positive through all of this. It is so hard. Sometimes I feel like crying, screaming, mostly just feel like giving up. I don’t understand why it is so hard for honest people who work their ass off, to just make it by. I have only $80 this week for gas food diapers and wipes. Payday cannot come fast enough.

When it rains it pours. I hope there is a silver lining in this dark cloud. I pray we get approved for this car loan.
I wont be able to blog for a while, unless there is free wifi. For a couple of months now we have had no internet. It is not a necessity, so it goes. I know many of you are in the same exact situation here in America, and other countries as well. Just know that you are not alone. I’m not giving up because my story isn’t  written yet. Neither is yours. We all could use a little less rain.

Generation to Change a Nation

  I am driving home through the hills of Appalachia. I am reminded what beauty our great ancestors saw in this country. It must be the beauty I am seeing now.

Water droplets have just fallen along these hills and heavily wooded areas. The sun is setting and is heating the water droplets. The water is evaporating and turning into fog rolling across the land. This is where I belong. Here in the hills where I feel, I am one with the earth.

Here I am reminded that these hills are sacred and hollow grounds. corporations are destroying them. The greed for natural resources is fierce in this county.

I am brought back to reality. As I pass along sometimes I see a large patch of land cleared for extracting oil. Wells are popping up all over the hills looking like monstrosities. Flames shooting up into the air, emitting toxic gas that probably is affecting the ozone layer here on this planet.

The trees are never replanted. This means we are all breathing more carbon and less oxygen. Trees are living creatures ment to filter the air. We have a symbiotic relationship with them. What we do to our environment directly affects us. What price are we willing to pay for all these commodities? Are we willing to sacrifice our planet and our life for these cooperate entities?

This ground is sacred. They are destroying my country. Corporations. Greed. Central Banking. It is destroying us. We are no longer free. This world is controlled by corporations. This is a corporatocracy ladies and gentlemen. The freedoms we had were taken away and eroded slowly after central banking was introduced to this country. Our founding fathers warned us of this. Presidents have tried to warn us of this. And still very few people are concerned or even notice.

In school we were taught to be obedient little consumers. That is how corporations view us and so we consume and consume untill nothing is left. What happened to the great things my ancestors taught? The Native Americans were very wise people. You kill an animal you use everything. You cut a tree down, you replace it. You farm the land, it will give you more than you can ever imagine. You take care of the planet and it takes care of you.

Its time for a change in conscious. Its time for awareness. Time to stop living in the dark ruled by fear. Ladies and gentlemen, we will be the generation to change the nation. If we wake up and see through the lies. Great change is possible. Greater than imaginable. We are all creators of our destiny. Lets stand up for what is right. For this beautiful planet we live on.

I have a dream one day humanity will be free. My son and generations to come will have promise of a better life than what I have. Free from being consumers, free from being poor, free from oppression, freedom from slavery. A world that is governed by love and not fear. One day we will live peacefully because we have awareness that we are all one. We are all creators in this network of nerves we call the universe. We are all beautiful. And we all deserve more in this life than a 16 hour work day every day almost everyday of the week.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can get you out of debt!

I applied for a new job today. I will make less than what I currently do, but I would be much happier than I am at my current job. I am reminded though that money can’t buy you happiness!
The place I work is a LTC facility. All they care about is bringing in top dollar from the people that we take care of. The ancillary staff will never receive any of that money. Only the corporation, the corporate employees and administration will. When the facility looses money it is blamed on the Nurses and Nursing assistaints. We are not valued at all.
So after 9 years of bullcrap I applied at a smaller LTC facility that is not a large cooperation.  They care about people. They value the residents and staff members. So I might make a dollar less, for less stress. Its worth it!
I finally have it all. A job where  I am valued. A beautiful family. A wonderful husband, a happy marriage,  and a beautiful baby boy.
However I am reminded of the mounting pile of debt I have. Student loans I will never be able to pay off. Medical bills from my sons birth. Then at the end of the day, I come home to a cramped one bedroom apartment that all three of us can barely move in, because we can’t afford anything else. Our fridge is almost empty because we only have 150 dollars to spend on groceries a month. Yea money can’t buy happiness, but it can pay off debt and give my family more room grow. Mabie even a decent meal. I am reminded rasing the minimum wage isnt enough.  Our Government and Companies need to be held accontible and responsible from stealing money from the poor middle class, students, and the elderly. But, money can’t buy happiness. Right?