Sorry I have been away for so long. My son had some health problems recently without going into detail, but he is ok now. I have been working a lot to try to pay off debt. It seems like it is a never ending battle.
Recently my husband’s car took a shit, and when I mean took a shit, the whole engine went bad. Now we are in need of a new used car. With times being tough and our credit score being low, we are praying somewhere will approve us for a loan. My car is twenty years old and on its last leg. So im praying in the that wont take a shit for at least another year. These things that happened could not have happened at a worst time.
I’m trying to stay positive through all of this. It is so hard. Sometimes I feel like crying, screaming, mostly just feel like giving up. I don’t understand why it is so hard for honest people who work their ass off, to just make it by. I have only $80 this week for gas food diapers and wipes. Payday cannot come fast enough.
When it rains it pours. I hope there is a silver lining in this dark cloud. I pray we get approved for this car loan.
I wont be able to blog for a while, unless there is free wifi. For a couple of months now we have had no internet. It is not a necessity, so it goes. I know many of you are in the same exact situation here in America, and other countries as well. Just know that you are not alone. I’m not giving up because my story isn’t written yet. Neither is yours. We all could use a little less rain.
I am driving home through the hills of Appalachia. I am reminded what beauty our great ancestors saw in this country. It must be the beauty I am seeing now.
Water droplets have just fallen along these hills and heavily wooded areas. The sun is setting and is heating the water droplets. The water is evaporating and turning into fog rolling across the land. This is where I belong. Here in the hills where I feel, I am one with the earth.
Here I am reminded that these hills are sacred and hollow grounds. corporations are destroying them. The greed for natural resources is fierce in this county.
I am brought back to reality. As I pass along sometimes I see a large patch of land cleared for extracting oil. Wells are popping up all over the hills looking like monstrosities. Flames shooting up into the air, emitting toxic gas that probably is affecting the ozone layer here on this planet.
The trees are never replanted. This means we are all breathing more carbon and less oxygen. Trees are living creatures ment to filter the air. We have a symbiotic relationship with them. What we do to our environment directly affects us. What price are we willing to pay for all these commodities? Are we willing to sacrifice our planet and our life for these cooperate entities?
This ground is sacred. They are destroying my country. Corporations. Greed. Central Banking. It is destroying us. We are no longer free. This world is controlled by corporations. This is a corporatocracy ladies and gentlemen. The freedoms we had were taken away and eroded slowly after central banking was introduced to this country. Our founding fathers warned us of this. Presidents have tried to warn us of this. And still very few people are concerned or even notice.
In school we were taught to be obedient little consumers. That is how corporations view us and so we consume and consume untill nothing is left. What happened to the great things my ancestors taught? The Native Americans were very wise people. You kill an animal you use everything. You cut a tree down, you replace it. You farm the land, it will give you more than you can ever imagine. You take care of the planet and it takes care of you.
Its time for a change in conscious. Its time for awareness. Time to stop living in the dark ruled by fear. Ladies and gentlemen, we will be the generation to change the nation. If we wake up and see through the lies. Great change is possible. Greater than imaginable. We are all creators of our destiny. Lets stand up for what is right. For this beautiful planet we live on.
I have a dream one day humanity will be free. My son and generations to come will have promise of a better life than what I have. Free from being consumers, free from being poor, free from oppression, freedom from slavery. A world that is governed by love and not fear. One day we will live peacefully because we have awareness that we are all one. We are all creators in this network of nerves we call the universe. We are all beautiful. And we all deserve more in this life than a 16 hour work day every day almost everyday of the week.
Im a Mother. I still have a great capacity love. I have so much to give. You deny me the only simple pleasure life has. The whole reason for marriage. The reason to share great intimacy and compassion with another human being. The very intimacy and compassion that creates life itself. Somewhere you forgot to love me. You ignore me and yet, you deny my feelings. These feeling run deep. Yet you dont take the time to dare understand them. You turn away. Excuses are all I hear. “Not enough time… Not enough time….” Make time for your stupid movies, forget your life your family. Sacrifice your life for your work. A dead end job. I offer help. You refuse. More excuses. “Not enough time… Not enough time.” Your child is growing up so fast. I ask myself, “Why? Why?” Where did the ambition go? Where is the drive? You keep loosing yourself a little all the time. You are not the man I knew. Driven no longer by dreams but not enough time. Ten minutes, thats all it takes. But you shouldn’t care about time. ‘Cause time is very fleeting… we are dying all the a little all the time.
Dedicated to a friend who lost everything. I hope you find love and the closure you seek.♥