Ohio… You’re Drunk!

 

Ohio, when I woke up this morning. I thought I was in an unfamiliar place. I thought for a moment perhaps, we were drinking together because I also forgot where I was for a moment.

Ohio in case you didn’t get the memo, this is not supposed to be a frozen tundra. It is the Midwest and it’s supposed to be spring. Where did the April showers go?

The May Flowers I planned to plant in my Garden will have to be postponed. The headaches. Don’t even get me started on that. One day its 70 degrees. The next day it is 20. The pressure change causes me to get headaches, colds, and eventually a sinus infection.

Ohio please sober up quickly.

Sincerly,
A Concerned Resident.

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A Bit of Bubbly

This Thanksgiving we went over to my parents. My son was so excited because he got to play with his favorite people. He is a Grandpa and Daddies boy. My son wanted Grandpa to chase him around. Needless to say my Dad was tired.

My Grandfather had given my parents a bottle of champagne. So my parents thought it would be nice to celebrate and share that champagne with us. My husband tried to get the bottle opened and couldn’t. Then my father tried unsuccessfully. My Brother finally cracked it opened.

When the champagne was poured we noticed it was flat. Needless to say it tasted like dirty feet. I took one sip and could not drink any more. My husband took a sip and said it tasted off. No one else was drinking it so my husband figured he would drink it.

My Dad noticing it was almost gone, wanted to try some. He tried a sip and said it tasted nutty. Like sweaty balls.

I googled the champagne. No wonder why. The champagne was the same age as I was. It was from 1988 and it was 26 years old. Apparently, champagne does not keep as well as fine wine.

A Mutual Understanding


This weekend I was reminded how every living creature is intelligent in their own way. We need to respect every living being, even if they are not human.

Every year my family has a reunion on our family farm, as we have done for 151 years. My son and I were looking at three cows. All of them were new mothers like myself. The mothers fed them from their udders, like I fed my son from my breast. He soon realized that they had nipples just like me. He started to get excited and wildly wave his hands and arms about. I laughed and told him that Mommy can’t produce gallons of milk like those Mommies can.

The cows stared at us and looked at my son and I. I believe they saw he was smaller than I, and that I was a new Mother too.

Cows are such gentle and inquisitive creatures, and for those few minutes we had an understanding and mutual respect for one another. I nodded and my son waved. They nodded back and we went back to our daily lives. They turned away and went back to theirs. Yes we are mothers. We are still learning. I respect them, and they respect me.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

   My son has been teething lately, and has been drooling massive amounts. Last night he was nursing himself to sleep. I thought he had been drooling on me, so I really didn’t care. He kept playing in his drool. Then I realized this “drool” smelled terrible, and it was sticky! It was spit up. He was smearing it all over himself and me. I couldn’t help but laugh.