Celebrating Life’s Small Triumphs

I sit here righting this, at 4 a.m. in the morning because the dizziness has subsided. Last night it was so bad, I felt like I was going to pass out. The room began vibrating back and forth and it was like I was on a bad rollercoaster, one I couldn’t get off of.

The days that I have when I feel well are becoming less. There are days I can’t drive, because my vision is affected.

I am thankful for the good days I have, and I hope today will be a good day. I have had no dizziness yet, so I am up at 4 a.m. getting everything I can get done, while it lasts.

I am embarrassed to say that I have been so dizzy, I have been unable to clean my house. I usually clean it daily. I have been unable to clean it for a whole week. So I am cleaning it from top to bottom while I can.

Things like washing your hair became less important. The dizziness gets worse with neck extension, and I get tingling sensations along my spine. (Because of this Dry Shampoo has been my best friend) I have to take cool baths, because the dizziness and coordination get worse with heat and humidity. It has been so hot I have had to stay inside, and two days ago my Son and I spent all day outside. I paid for it for the next two days.

I am an active person, and I love spending time outside. I think that there is no better cure for illness, then spending time outside in nature. It’s been killing me the last few days, because I have had to limit my outdoor activity.

Thankfully Sunday, and Monday where good days this week. I am happy because they were some of the best days I have had in months. I didn’t feel dizzy at all. I took full advantage of that.

Sunday we celebrated my Brother’s birthday. My Brother and I played outside with my son, while my Mom, Dad, and Husband sat inside talking. We chased my Son around, swinging, and sliding down the slide with my son -the same playset my Brother and I played on as children.-

We gave my Son wheelbarrow rides, and chased him around the field, and then my Brother gave me a wheelbarrow ride. I thought for sure the wheelbarrow would break under my weight, but my Brother assured me it would be fine, daring me to get in. I screamed the whole time. I kept feeling like I was going to tip out. At the end of the ride, the wheelbarrow did tip over and I fell on backwards and landed on my butt, feet sticking up in the air and everything. My Brother and I where laughing hysterically.

My Son, was saying “Stop Mommy, Its my turn.” So after we were done laughing, my Son got a ride back to the house, from his “Funny Uncle.”

It was a good day, and I am so happy I was not sick when we celebrated my Brother’s Birthday.

Monday was a good day too. I had a Doctors appointment. After the appointment My Son and I went to see his favorite train and Caboose at the Historic Depot, it the township we live in. We spent a good part of the day at the park and he rode his bike around town. It was hot though, and Tues, Wends, and Thursday were bad days. I should have known better, but I love spending time outside.

I may look healthy on the outside, but I have an invisible illness, that I have had since 2015. The most frustrating aspects of this have been the misdiagnosis that I have received and been treated for with little to no results.

I have an MRI of my spine next week, to look for any abnormalities on my spinal cord, and I am going to be seeing a neurologist again. In August I start Physical Therapy again.  I hope to have some answers soon.

For all of those with chronic illnesses, that struggle daily. Just know that you are not alone. I have to take each day as it comes for now. That’s all I can do.

Today has been a good day, I am thankful for that. Now back to cleaning my house that I have neglected for a week, because I have to take the good days as they come.

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