I sit here righting this, at 4 a.m. in the morning because the dizziness has subsided. Last night it was so bad, I felt like I was going to pass out. The room began vibrating back and forth and it was like I was on a bad rollercoaster, one I couldn’t get off of.
The days that I have when I feel well are becoming less. There are days I can’t drive, because my vision is affected.
I am thankful for the good days I have, and I hope today will be a good day. I have had no dizziness yet, so I am up at 4 a.m. getting everything I can get done, while it lasts.
I am embarrassed to say that I have been so dizzy, I have been unable to clean my house. I usually clean it daily. I have been unable to clean it for a whole week. So I am cleaning it from top to bottom while I can.
Things like washing your hair became less important. The dizziness gets worse with neck extension, and I get tingling sensations along my spine. (Because of this Dry Shampoo has been my best friend) I have to take cool baths, because the dizziness and coordination get worse with heat and humidity. It has been so hot I have had to stay inside, and two days ago my Son and I spent all day outside. I paid for it for the next two days.
I am an active person, and I love spending time outside. I think that there is no better cure for illness, then spending time outside in nature. It’s been killing me the last few days, because I have had to limit my outdoor activity.
Thankfully Sunday, and Monday where good days this week. I am happy because they were some of the best days I have had in months. I didn’t feel dizzy at all. I took full advantage of that.
Sunday we celebrated my Brother’s birthday. My Brother and I played outside with my son, while my Mom, Dad, and Husband sat inside talking. We chased my Son around, swinging, and sliding down the slide with my son -the same playset my Brother and I played on as children.-
We gave my Son wheelbarrow rides, and chased him around the field, and then my Brother gave me a wheelbarrow ride. I thought for sure the wheelbarrow would break under my weight, but my Brother assured me it would be fine, daring me to get in. I screamed the whole time. I kept feeling like I was going to tip out. At the end of the ride, the wheelbarrow did tip over and I fell on backwards and landed on my butt, feet sticking up in the air and everything. My Brother and I where laughing hysterically.
My Son, was saying “Stop Mommy, Its my turn.” So after we were done laughing, my Son got a ride back to the house, from his “Funny Uncle.”
It was a good day, and I am so happy I was not sick when we celebrated my Brother’s Birthday.
Monday was a good day too. I had a Doctors appointment. After the appointment My Son and I went to see his favorite train and Caboose at the Historic Depot, it the township we live in. We spent a good part of the day at the park and he rode his bike around town. It was hot though, and Tues, Wends, and Thursday were bad days. I should have known better, but I love spending time outside.
I may look healthy on the outside, but I have an invisible illness, that I have had since 2015. The most frustrating aspects of this have been the misdiagnosis that I have received and been treated for with little to no results.
I have an MRI of my spine next week, to look for any abnormalities on my spinal cord, and I am going to be seeing a neurologist again. In August I start Physical Therapy again. I hope to have some answers soon.
For all of those with chronic illnesses, that struggle daily. Just know that you are not alone. I have to take each day as it comes for now. That’s all I can do.
Today has been a good day, I am thankful for that. Now back to cleaning my house that I have neglected for a week, because I have to take the good days as they come.
One thought on “Celebrating Life’s Small Triumphs”
This post is hard to read but also beautiful and candid! Your story has touched me and I feel a lump in my throat. I wish you many many good days ahead. x