Watch “Don’t Be Perfect – Motivational Video ft Lewis Howes” on YouTube

“The Universe is made up of roughly 94 percent dark matter…there is always something in our lives that is dark matter…we don’t know why these experiences happen to us…when we reflect on it, we realize we would not be were we are today, if it wasn’t for the dark matter in our lives.”

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His Spirit Lives

Sometimes when I’m writing I hit a wall. I wouldn’t call it writers block, I would just say that I am in too into my charcters. 

While my fiction is not true, and my Charcters are made up, I often get ideas from real life. Then I incorporate the lessons that I learn from life into my book.

Tonight one of my Characters Jen lost her Grandfather. As I wrote this I couldn’t help but think of my Grandfather, and I just had to stop because it is too deep. 

“This is it, are you ready?” My Mother asked.

“Are we really ever ready for a moment like this?”

“This is it. It is time to say Goodbye.” Mom grasped my hand and we walked to the coffin together 

“It’s Pa paw, and he doesn’t look like himself. He looks so small.”

“I know sweetie. The body is just a shell. He has moved on.”

“No his spirit lives in us Mom.”

I’m not gonna lie. I cried. I really miss my own Grandfather, and I know that his spirit, his DNA lives in me. 

I can still hear him telling me to do what I love. I am doing that now. If ever there was a time where I wish I could talk to my Grandfather, it would be now. I want to share what I love with him. The Great-Grandson he has. I would want him to meet my Husband, because the have the same sense of humor. I would want to share my love of writing with him, and be the first person to read my Novel. 

This is difficult for me to write, even though it is fiction, because I know how it is to lose the only Grandfather you have ever known, that understands what a fierce and stubborn person you can be. 

I felt as if my Grandfather was guiding my hands as I was writing. This book is turning out to be more than I had ever imagined. 

Sleep Deprived Moms

Stay-at-home Mom’s are very rarely ever appreciated. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending my days with my Son, watching him grow into the amazing little man that he is, but sometimes I feel like I am going crazy.

When I go out, my Son goes everywhere with me. Most of my close friends do not have children, and the few that do, our schedules do not allow us to get together.

Many nights I spend getting only 2-3 hours of sleep. When my son wakes up and has to go to the bathroom, or when he has a nightmare and cries, I get up with him every single time.

I have a confession to Make. I am jealous of my Husband and quite honestly depressed. He works 8-1 6 hrs. a day, comes home and gets 6-8 hrs of sleep. I honestly cannot remember a night in which I have gotten 3 hours. The other night I was so tired, I put the ice cream in the refrigerator, and then two days ago I fell down the stairs. It does not help that I have a vestibular disorder that gets continually worse with sleep deprivation.

When My husband wants to go hang out with his friends, I let him, and I know he works hard. But it is not reciprocal, I can count the number of times my Husband has offered to watch our son on one hand. I just feel like I can’t catch a break. The only time I get for myself is between 1:30 and 2 a.m. and even that is interrupted since our Son is a light sleeper like I am.

I guess I feel like what I do doesn’t matter. All I ask is 1-2 hours of uninterrupted time to dedicate to my work, which is writing. I’m tired, and depressed. So the little time that I could be sleeping, is spent writing because I have no choice. During the day, as I am tying to write I have a toddler that keeps trying to help me write, and is scribbling all over my manuscript. I guess I am hoping I am not alone in feeling this way.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work.Writing is work too. I don’t think anyone understands that. It is something I have to do so I don’t lose my Mind, because only getting 6 hours of sleep the last three nights has been pure torture.

If only I could sleep like a husband!

 

Benefits of DIY

For me writing is a journey. If I am going to take my writing seriously I want to learn how to do everything. That includes formatting and editing.

I learned something new in Microsoft Word thus week. Word has drop caps? What! I didn’t know you could do such a thing. Drop caps are something that I would like to include at the beginning of my Chapters, so I was quite happy when I learned this.

Intersting thing I learned, the Table of contents are not really needed in fiction books, however some Authors include them. I never really thought about this at all before writing my own book. Then I realized, I have really never looked at a table of contents when reading, if a fiction book included them. Most of the fiction books I have read do not have one, unless they are formatted for Kindle.

The great thing about learning to format my own book is that I pay attention to how others format their books as I am reading them. I also have been more cognizant of the structure that others use, in which to tell their stories.

I can now appricate all the work that goes into creating a book. I have also become a more observant reader because of this experience, thus far.